The internet is a strange place. It is a highly useful tool that comes with alot of downfalls. In the 'real world' if you don't like or agree with something, you don't actively seek out participation. On the internet, everything is a click away, very tempting. There is a parenting war going on - in the 'real world' you meet like minded mama's, you make friends you discuss things that are relevant to you and you have common interests, you share and support one another, if you don't click with a certain group of people you avoid that situation. In the internet world there is alot of searching out people that are different, just to criticise differences...odd.
I do not go down to my local shopping centre daily, stand in the doorway and actively search for someone who is different to me, just so I can tell them they are different. Yet, everyday, someone does that online. They join a parenting group or forum just to be the 'keyboard warrior' who rattles the cages of something they have no interest in or interest to even learn about. Hiding behind our screens we feel invincible, emotions are distant and opinions run rampant.
Its not 'just' the internet though, actions have consequences, everything you do online, has an equal consequence in the 'real word', there are real people behind that screen, with feelings and emotions. Take a step back, think, if this was in the real world, if this was me sitting in a cafe listening to a group of mothers have a discussion at the table next to me, what would I do. You'd like to think you'd do the same thing, I doubt that in most cases.
Since when do you waltz into an group of complete strangers and announce their opinions are wrong, and if you happen to do so, do you honestly expect them to just hang their heads in shame and smile politely. Since when would you go that one step further and go through all the trouble to become a member of a group of people if you in no way agree with ANY of their opinions or thoughts. What is the point?
Yet, online, it seems like it happens constantly, in search of drama, there is no such thing as simple avoidance. Don't like something, you do not have to participate in it. Feel like you've be ganged up on, I say you most likely deserved it, what else would you expect. If it is clear what people stand for in a particular situation and you openly suggest otherwise...honestly now..and no, writing 'no offence' before the statement does not change a thing, it means you KNOW the information will most likely not be accepted by a group of people, yet YOU CHOOSE to still be a part of it. You are responsible for your own actions, feel baited into something by someone? Its your choice how you react. We can't control others, you can only hope to control yourself.
Personally, I'd prefer to go to my local shopping centre, & stand in the doorway with the mind set of finding help, finding people who seem to be similar to me, who seem to have answers to questions I have, or have questions that I have answers for. Actively seeking difference will only lead to frustration on my part, its okay to want to help people, to try to get people to see other types of methods of parenting (or whatever it is you are a part of) but in the end it should be more about being happy with yourself and your own choice, in the end its about how you are raising your own children, not anyone elses.
I'm not saying don't care, I'm simply saying that the your world does in fact revolve around you, making someone else's troubles, problems, opinions etc.. the centre instead can put your own world out of balance. By all means help, but try to make sure you are still the one orbiting that sun, and others opinions are merely visiting, don't let them take over the real point of whatever it is you are apart of.
Support comes best from those who have something in common, or those who have been through the same experience and arrived at the same outcome you're looking for with techniques you are interested in. Don't actively seek support in places you have nothing in common with, unless you are genuinely interested in the opposite opinions with an open mind.
Mostly, love all day.
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